A local Muslim leader is running courses in social interaction for young Muslims, stressing the importance of marriage and other “things” related to marriage. The unique course, entitled “Marriage! And other social ideas”, caters to Muslim youth aged between 10 and 14 and takes the format of a two-day workshop.

“I cannot emphasise how important marriage is. I tell my kids, if they don’t get married, they could die. I put on a scary face when I say this for added effect. Young Muslims don’t think about marriage enough, I feel,” said the course inventor, Habeeb Habeeb. “You really need to get in early. I wanted to aim for 6 to 8-year-olds, but there were complications relating to permission.”

Habeeb’s course deals with etiquette, how not to greet someone of the opposite sex, gaze-lowering exercises and the ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ of internet interaction. The course also runs according to Habeeb’s self-penned “motto”: Get married.

“A lot of people think that the internets is so different to real life, but this is wrong. I met my wife on the internets and it was love at first byte. So you see, the internets is also very dangerous. I had to lower my gaze before proposing. It made typing a bit hard, but we didn’t want to break any rules,” Habeeb said.

“But I tell my kids that they can say salam and talk about the different schools of thought, for example. But we draw the line at smilies. None of that is allowed. Just because I did it, doesn’t make it right. The internets is evil. I tell them this. But we still teach them the MSN etiquette because if they’re going to do it, it should at least be done properly.”

Habeeb said the MSN session involves exercises on proper conversation. “The kids get an electric jolt if they type something inappropriate. And we also monitor same sex discussions as we don’t want to teach the gays. I had to expel one child for winking on MSN at another boy.”

Habeeb said he is surprised by the amount of enthusiasm his students already show for marriage, saying it makes his job that much easier. “A lot of them are already interested in their big day. Some boys tell me their mums are already on the lookout, and some of the girls and boys were secretly exchanging MSN contact details. They think I am stupid, but I saw it,” the self-dubbed “Deepak Chopra of Muslim marriage” said.

“But this is good as it gets dialogue going, and this leads to interest, which leads inevitably to marriage. Everyone knows Muslims don’t date!”

Thus far the feedback has been excellent, Habeeb said, and he plans to continue running the courses next year, refining certain aspects. “I will keep the basics in there, especially the bumper stickers I give the students at the end of the course which say ‘Honk if you want to get married’. I made that up myself. I think it’s very clever.”

Habeeb is excited about the possibilities, pointing out that it’s an original idea and there is nothing else catering to Muslim youth’s social needs in a workshop format.

“Too many people think Muslims are uptight and unable to interact socially. They’re quite right. Otherwise I would be out of a job. In any case, if only half the class walk out realising the importance of getting married, then I have succeeded. The other half can’t escape, because family will get to them.”